The Survivor
by C.M. Singer
Summary: In 1918, the night before her wedding, Rose Dawson realizes she can't go through with her marriage to Daniel Calvert. She prepares to run, away from her fears, her anger, and her guilt. But when the penniless artist stops her in her tracks, will she be convinced that she can fulfill her promise? One-Shot.


**A/N: Hi Everyone! I hope you're all doing well. I just wanted to let you know that another chapter for my story** _ **To the Stars**_ **will be coming soon. For now, I am presenting you with something I've wanted to write for a long time. Stories like this one are the ones that always seem to get me (perhaps more than any other on the Titanic fandom) and make me feel something inside. I am in no way saying I can even compare to the excellence and artistry that writers before me have done. I simply hope you like it. This is a one-shot. I took some creativity liberty here, so please don't flame. Encouragement and helpful critiques left in the form of a PM or review is most appreciated. Please excuse any grammar errors. Enjoy! :-)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing of Titanic. Everything belongs to James Cameron and their respectful owners**

 **This is dedicated to the memory of those who lost their lives in the sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic and those who lived in the aftermath.**

The Survivor

It was in the middle of the night, yet the thundering noise of the nighttime city resonated through my ears as the gloomy sky was illuminated by its twinkling lights. I couldn't sleep. I thought perhaps a breath of fresh air would help alleviate my restlessness. My fiery curls wisped across my face, as my heart began to beat violently out of my chest. I stood out on the balcony of my bridal suite, ruminating the past I had come from. It had been over 6 years; 6 years since I let go of him. While tomorrow should be a day of celebration, I felt it was the day that I betrayed him forever.

I had never mentioned Jack's name to Daniel, not to anyone. He was my secret. Somehow, keeping him alone in my heart helped to keep Jack alive in my memory. I had only known Jack Dawson for 3 days, but I felt as though no one would ever truly know him as well as I did.

In the years since the sinking, I had followed my dreams. I became an actress and starred on Broadway in several different shows. It was there that I met Daniel Calvert. His father owned a financial company in the heart of New York City. He was a wonderful man, but it had taken me quite a long time to fall for him.

Every kiss, every touch, every piece I gave of myself to Daniel was supposed to be for Jack. How could I do this to him? Marrying Daniel was like putting the final nail in Jack's coffin. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. If I didn't leave now, I knew I never would.

I rushed back inside. I began packing whatever belongings I could fit into a suitcase. Tears began to stream down my face. My cheeks were still stained from the tears I had cried every night for 6 years. I kept thinking about the broken dreams, broken promises that Jack and I had planned that were never to be.

I didn't care where I went, I just had to leave. I would leave Daniel a note, explaining how sorry I was, but that I couldn't marry him. It wasn't anything he had done; he had always treated me with kindness, much more than I deserved. The problem was…me.

As I hastily stuffed my clothing, picture frames, and items into the bag, my emerald eyes caught the glimpse of my wedding dress. The shimmering of the crystals woven in rhythmic patterns across the lace made me stop in my tracks. I released my hand and the iron grasp it held to the bag. My heart raced as I forced my feet towards it.

I shuffled the delicate fabric against my tendrils. I had imagined myself wearing this walking down a church aisle towards Jack. Now, the dress, the day, and the pieces of love left in my broken heart would belong to another man. Would Jack approve? Would he be angry? I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing him.

 _Put it on_

The sudden, gentle whisper had come out of nowhere. I gazed at my wedding gown. Why not try it on? It might help me to change my mind.

A chilly zephyr danced across my exposed skin as I slipped into the gown. The pearls and lace complemented my ivory features. Age had not come for me yet. I still looked as though I was seventeen. It was then that my heart was ripped to shreds.

My cries turned into sobs that scorched my insides. My knees weakened and collapsed onto the ground. I cried for the future I was doomed for, and the future that was never to be.

"Why did you have to go?!" I sobbed. "Why couldn't you hold on for me? I held on for you!"

For the first time in my life, I realized how mad I really was at Jack Dawson. I loved him more than anything. But he had left me, alone, to face the cruel game of life. There had been some nights I had thought about ending it all. And it was only Jack's promise, his dying wish that kept me here on this earth.

The moment I reached New York, I had resolved to never speak about the Titanic again. I masked my grief and poured myself into my acting. My days were bearable. But it was at night that the Titanic would come and torture my dreams.

By now, my body was trembling as I stared at myself in the mirror. I buried my face into my hands. "I can't do this…I can't do this."

"Yes you can,"

My heart skipped a beat. I knew that voice. It was the voice that had haunted all of my endless nightmares. It had been so long, so long that I had nearly forgotten what he sounded like. I knew someone was watching me. I knew who it was.

I slowly lifted my head, removing my hands that were saturated with salty tears. I held my breath as I pulled myself up and turned around to see the figure standing behind me.

 _Jack_

His cerulean eyes pierced through the shadows. His blond hair sparkled in the moonlight from the window. His childlike smile made me realize it was him.

"How? You're…you're supposed to be dead."

"I am," he whispered with a somber tone in his voice.

"Oh please…" I cried, "Let this be a dream. I can't take any more of this."

My blurred irises glanced at his figure that didn't move from the doorway. My hopeless fantasies of Jack running to me and sweeping me up in his arms were still not a reality. My head cowered to the floor with disgust.

"God, I've tried to forget you," I confessed to him. "I keep thinking that forgetting you will make the pain go away, but it doesn't."

Minutes ticked by as we just stared at each other, no words of comfort or assurance being exchanged. I studied the face I had heartbreakingly forgotten, burning every single detail into my memory so that I wouldn't forget once more. He appeared the same way he did that fateful night, dressed in 3rd Class attire, undoubtedly a couple of dollars or a pencil was in his pocket.

"Why are you here, Jack?"

"To stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life," he answered.

"Well you're too late for that, Jack," I scoffed. "6 years too late."

"If you hadn't let me go, you wouldn't have survived," he reminded me as he took a step towards me. "I don't blame you for that, Rose. You did the right thing."

No, it wasn't the right thing. I would've rather died out in the Atlantic if Jack couldn't survive. But here I was, alive, and forced to face the struggles of life without the one person I loved the most.

"I know you're mad at me Rose," he sighed. "You have every right to be. But I did what was best for you. I know you would've given up hope if I didn't make you keep your promise."

It amazed me how Jack seemed to sense all of the anger and guilt I sheltered towards him. It was as though Jack was the only person who could ever see through all of the complex layers and feelings that were a part of me.

"Where were you Jack? Why did you leave me when I needed you the most?"

Tears streaked down my features as I thought about everything I had suffered; the sleepless nights, the uncertainties, Daniel, and my feelings towards him. Everything was boiling up inside of me. I wanted to scream.

I collapsed onto the cold, lifeless floor and sobbed like I never had before. I felt abandoned, alone, weak, and shaken. Every ounce of pain that had swelled up inside of me came pouring out. I trembled and cowered against the floor like a fearful child; afraid of the future, afraid of the present, and afraid of the past.

After what seemed to be an eternal hell, his tender arms wrapped around me, cradling my shivering mass. A warmth, a sensation I hadn't felt in years, but that I had missed so much, pulsed through my veins.

"I didn't want to go," he whispered. "More than anything, I wanted to stay. I would've given anything to stay by your side. But when my time came, He told me that I had to leave, because if I didn't, you would never realize all of the things you are capable of."

No, I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to believe we could've shared a life together. Sadly, Jack's statement was true. Since Jack's death, I had learned more things in the past 6 years alone than I had ever learned in my previous life. But my heart ached because I _wanted_ him to be beside me, to cheer for me and my victories, to hold me in my agony, and to share all the opportunities life had to offer together. I buried myself further into Jack's chest as I held him tighter, somehow believing if I never let him go, he would stay.

"I've always been there Rose. You couldn't feel me sometimes, but I was in the front row on opening night of your first show. I was there you the night you met Daniel, I was there the day you flew that airplane, and I was there the night you lost the baby."

 _Our baby_

It was in late June of 1912 that I found out that I was pregnant. I had immediately known it was Jack's and it began to ameliorate my guilt and nightmares. But my solace was short-lived. I miscarried two months later. That night I felt like I had not only lost my baby, but that last part of Jack the world still had.

"It was the second worst night of my life," I whimpered amidst my tears. "I felt like I disappointed you."

"Oh Rose, you could never disappoint me," he declared. "Besides, she's up in heaven, with me." My eyes widened.

" _She?"_

"Yes," Jack answered. "You were carrying a baby girl."

Tears erupted out of me at the news. How I wished I could've been her mother; to hold her, cloth her, bathe her, watch her take her first steps and grow up to be as strong as her father. But I had lost that chance many years ago. I hadn't told anyone about my pregnancy, for the fear, the shame, and the guilt that had plagued me since that dark night.

"Tell me what she looks like, Jack," I pleaded, desperate to know about the child I had lost.

"She's so beautiful. Oh Rose, she got so much of your spunk, it's amazing. She's got your hair, her daddy's blue eyes, and your gorgeous smile. You would love her."

A peaceful solace washed over me as I listened to every little detail Jack told me about our daughter. Even though I had never met her, I already missed her as much as I did her father.

"What's her name?"

"Well, you never named her," Jack replied. "I always call her "sweetheart" and tell her all about her mother, all the time."

"Josephine," I whispered. "Josephine Rose Dawson. I knew that's what her name was going to be from the moment I found out."

"A beautiful name, just like her mother."

As the silence became prevalent, Jack held me for was seemed to be a blissful sojourn. For the first time in years, I felt genuinely happy, like I had felt the night before Titanic sank. Jack was here, with me. It was what I had always wanted and craved for since the sinking, to feel him again. I nestled in against Jack's torso as I soaked in his warmth and his presence, two things I had longed for. How I wished many of the nights I had survived could have been like this, just Jack and me, together. I wanted us to stay forever this way.

"I have to go Rose." I raised my head.

"No, please, don't go," I begged. "I won't make it without you, Jack."

Jack couldn't go. He had just gotten here. The moments we had shared together were not long enough. I couldn't go back to the nightmares and terrors of the darkness. I was tired of getting up and facing each day without him. I didn't want to be on my own, alone."

"Yes you will," he replied. "You're still the strongest woman I've ever known. Don't let that fire that I love about you, go out."

"I can't marry Daniel, Jack."

"Of course you can," Jack whispered. "You love him, Rose. I see it. And I can feel it. He loves you more than anything."

"I know he does,' I sadly smiled.

"It's not fair to push him away because of your feelings for me. Love him Rose. Show him everything that I love about you."

"But Jack…I can't do that."

"Yes, you can," Jack smiled. "You've got a promise to keep, remember?"

Jack lifted me up off of the ground and engulfed me into his arms. This wasn't any easier for him than it was for me.

"I'll always love you Jack," I whispered into his ear.

"And I will always love you."

"Please stay," I pleaded. "Don't leave me!"

My request was met with silence as Jack broke away from my arms, fighting back tears. He kissed my cheek.

"Winning that ticket Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me," he softly whispered. "Make each day count. I love you."

Jack's words bounced across the chasms of my mind as he plodded towards the doorway before stopping in his tracks. He turned around and stared at me with tears lining the brim of his eyes. "I won't see you again, Rose."

"Why?" I asked, feeling all of the uneasiness and tremors race violently through my chest.

"Because, I promised myself to take care of you until you found someone to love. Now you have."

"But…but I don't want you to go, Jack. I want you to stay. I still need you. I can't tell Daniel about me or about my past. I need to know you're there when the nightmares come."

The oceans of tears began splashing down my face again as my heart was shattered into thousands of pieces. Did I have to go through this hell again? Do I have to say goodbye, forever?

"Don't cry Rose," Jack whispered softly as he came over and stroked my back. "I'll always be there for you." Jack let me go and headed back towards the way he came.

"But will I ever see you again?" Jack turned around. Agonizing moments crept by before Jack finally nodded,

"Yes."

"When?" I desperately wanted to know.

"You'll know it when that day comes. You'll know it's time to go home. And when you get there, I'll be waiting for you." As he neared his exit, I shouted,

"Jack, wait!" I ran over to him and kissed him. It had been 6 years since our lips had touched, but his were still warm and inviting. How I missed their softness and the way they danced against mine. I wished we would stay together for an eternity.

But it was not to be. Despite my grand desires, once again, I let the poor artist go. Jack smiled as he slipped from my grasp and walked towards the front door. As the door opened, I watched as a gentle breeze danced across his face. He glanced at me one last time and told me,

"Meet me at the clock." I stood frozen as I watched him quietly close the door. Immediately, I hurried over and opened it to find that he was gone. Once more, Jack Dawson had vanished from the earth.

Fulfilling my promise to Jack, I married Daniel Calvert the very next day. During our happy marriage, we welcomed 6 children (4 girls and 2 boys) and 14 grandchildren into the wrold. In 1983, Daniel suffered a stroke and passed away shortly thereafter.

I never saw Jack again after that night, but still felt his presence often. I knew Jack was always watching over me. As the minutes turned to hours, the hours turned to days, and the days turned into years, I waited for that feeling that Jack had told me about. And one night, nearly 84 years after the night I let him go, it finally came. Out on the open sea, just above Titanic's wreck site, I heard that gentle whisper and that feeling I had waited for. I knew it was time. It was time for my promise to be fulfilled.

It was time to go home.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review. Also, let me know if I should do more one-shots. I kind of like them so it's helps me to know if anyone is interested. Well, that's all from me. Until next time! –C.M. Singer :-)**


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